The Black Pit – Finding the right solid ground

The black pit.

Have you been knocked in the black pit?  If you’ve received an earth shattering diagnosis such as cancer, you know what I’m talking about.

astronautAll of a sudden you are free falling backwards into the darkness, and sometimes as was the case for me you think you reach the bottom only to smash through and keep falling again.  Like Sandra Bullock in Gravity drifting off into to the blackness of space, everything completely out of her control.

Oh how I longed for the bottom of the pit.  Just let me reach bottom so I know where I stand and what I’m dealing with.  The bottom took awhile to reach, as it seemed like I just wasn’t going to catch a break.  I would hear things like, we don’t think it’s that bad, whew! to then only hear, well it’s worse than we expected.  Holy crap I can’t take it.

Where’s solid ground when I need it!?

While working with a client the other day, this very topic came up, which is probably no surprise as most of us that been through something like this end up with varying form of post traumatic stress disorder from the trauma of the initial diagnosis, the surgery, treatment, scans and test results, and just living with the day to day reality of having cancer and vulnerability that you don’t even know what is going on in your own body.

Why is it so important to address this free fall experience?

It’s an interesting question because really what it comes down to is the fear of fear.  Confused?  When life seems so out of control and the floor keeps on dropping out from under you it is terrifying.  I talked to clients that would rather stay at the bottom of the pit, instead of climbing out and truly accepting that they are healthy, because they are terrified of being caught off guard and being knocked back in the pit.  In otherwords, when you are solidly at the bottom of the pit, at least you know where you are and you feel like nothing can pull the rug out from under you again, you feel back in control in a way.

I understand this completely and it feels safer, but it has a huge catch. 

There is such a huge connection between body and mind, if you can’t be open to be being 100% healthy and climbing out of that pit victoriously, your chances of healing are significantly reduced. The primitive part of your brain, the Amygdala is always on guard and scanning for danger.  If you have subconsciously equated being in danger, with being healthy the Amygdala will take the cue and try to keep you out of danger, in other words keep you sick.  I’ll say that one other way, if you are in a way afraid of believing you are well because you don’t want to be caught off guard and experience the free fall/terror of being knocked to the bottom of the pit again, you have unknowingly made the connection that being healthy = danger.

If you need help with this, or any other aspect of your journey, trust that you are in the right place.

For more information on one on one, or group coaching session, please click here.

Here’s to our good health!

 

 

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